I have noticed in the past few weeks there have been many articles (mine included) of acceptance, strength, positivity, coping strategies and the like for those of us living through the covid-19 pandemic. These are helpful because the more we focus on the positive, the more neurological connections in the brain are made to create a positive thought cycles. The more positive thought cycles are active, the more it becomes automatic to think with this frame of mind. In this headspace we are more likely to see positivity in the world around us, even if it may be harder to find than usual.
The one piece that has been missing is loss. I have felt it. Loss of personal connection, loss of freedom, loss of alone time (for parents out there), loss of income and the list goes on. The career and financial goals that I have set for myself have been completely derailed for the time being. I know I am not alone. Although this is a golden opportunity for reflection, growth and learning for which I am grateful, it is also a time of uncertainty and in some ways, it sucks.
Most of the time I talk about focusing on the positive as a way of coping through hardship, and I stand by that. But I want to be clear in that although I focus on the positive MOST of the time, that does not mean I ignore the negative emotions and thoughts that come crawling into my mind and heart. It is happening a bit more rapidly now than usual. That’s OK. That is to be expected in times like these.
The uncomfortable feelings we are having are normal. The lack of motivation or feeling of disorganization or dis-regulated is not us failing, it is us under prolonged periods of pressure and stress.
Giving ourselves permission to feel these feelings is important. It’s not about doing everything with a smile, it’s about acknowledging the struggle, embracing the negative feelings, and reaching out to supports for help. If you feel that lump in your upper chest/throat and you need a good cry… LET IT OUT. You’re not weak, you’re human. This is hard stuff. Not knowing when this will end or how it will impact our lives is scary for many people. We can’t pretend that doesn’t exist nor should we.
I recommend releasing negative emotions through a cathartic modality. A good cry, an emotional journal entry, singing a sad song, talking to a trusted friend or family member, booking a virtual therapy session, exercising, going for a walk or engaging in some type of creative activity as an outlet can all be helpful as long as it is safe and a release for you. It looks very different for different people. Whether it is coping strategies I’ve listed in previous posts, talking to friends and family, seeking professional support, do it. It takes strength to lean into that uncomfortable feeling. It won’t break you.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. It’s there if you need it. We are all in this together. It will get better.
No garden would flourish without any rain. This storm will pass and sunny days will be upon us again (metaphorically and literally).
In case you or someone you know in the west GTA is looking for support I’ve attached some local numbers below.
Local Crisis Lines:
- Peel Crisis Line: 905-278-9036
- Kids Help Phone: 1800-668-6868 or text the word “text” to 686868 *18 and younger*
- COAST Halton 1-877-825-9011
- COAST Hamilton 905-972-8338 or toll free 1-844-972-8338
Stay Safe,
Jen
Jennifer Nunes 