Today is Mental Health Awareness day and in Canada #BellLetsTalk Day. This has been around for several years and often includes thousands of people posting the above hashtag to raise awareness and reduce stigma. But what about the other 364 days a year?
The reality is that mental health is something we all have, and must nurture and take care of throughout our lives. Our health goes through waves of ups and downs throughout our lives. Sometimes we feel fantastic, energized, clear headed, strong (mentally and physically) and at others it is difficult to do the simple or mundane tasks.
The idea of the “Bell Lets Talk” campaign intrigues me because it is encouraging people to share their stories in hopes of reducing stigma and increasing the validity and normal of mental health concerns. Why talk? What are the benefits? What can it do to help?
Talking about our fears, worries, thoughts and so on has significant benefit. When thoughts trigger strong emotional responses they can fester in the mind. It can cause us to ruminate on the thoughts, which creates a cycle of negative thought and maladaptive coping. Let me give an example: “I am not good enough.” This is a thought that can provoke sadness, depression, hopelessness and anxiety. Those thoughts veil all of our other thoughts, (picture an instagram filter of negativity), so that all experiences are seen through the lens of “I am not good enough.” The times we succeed or champion a task are minimized and our inefficiencies or difficulties are heightened. If this is kept inside ourselves the thoughts and feelings go in a vicious loop cycle that seem to never end, and almost always get more intense over time.
Now imagine TALK. To a loved one, a therapist, a doctor. Describing the thoughts, feelings and symptoms that are being experienced. The brain has somewhere to put this information outside of itself. It can be a literal LOAD OFF the mind. When talking to good listener with solid validation skills, the moment one is heard and understood, the power of those thoughts and the intensity of the emotion begins to decrease, even if it is slightly. This is the first step towards healing.
This is why I always tell clients before we begin a therapeutic relationship that FIT is the number one determinant of success in the therapy partnership. I could be trained in every single type of therapy there is. But if the fit isn’t there, and the client does not feel truly comfortable to open up, work cannot get done.
Find someone you trust. Someone who really HEARS you. Someone who is going to be able to hold a space for you to be your most vulnerable. This does not mean problem solving. It means sitting there with you, in the depths of fear or worry or sadness, allowing you permission to feel those feelings externally, and know that you are safe to do so.
Picture a giant elephant in the room that you think you are not supposed to talk about. Don’t talk about it. Don’t look at it. Don’t think about it. Guess what; It is the only thing on my mind. As soon as the conversation changes to, “Listen, there is this huge elephant in the room. I know it is a distraction, I don’t like how it makes me feel but it is here for now, I’m going to talk about the elephant” the elephant seems way less powerful. This is the same with our conversations about mental health and wellness. The biggest step is just starting the conversation. It is TALKING.
Stay Safe everyone,
Jen the Social Worker
Jennifer Nunes 
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